Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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