I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
