Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
