either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
