is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
