Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
