so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
