i jhust puked up my retainher.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize