woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
