worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
