Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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