Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
