That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
