Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
