bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
