i already hear my dad disowning me
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
