Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
