No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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