why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
