I think my fart just growled at me.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
