I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
