I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
