And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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