Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
