dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
