it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize