$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
