youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He uses pillows to masturbate.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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