We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
