Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
