no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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