I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
