wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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