she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
