goodnight i made you a song goodbye
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
