Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My pussy is not your playground.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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