I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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