Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
