So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
