I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize