i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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