you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Be still, my beating vagina.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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