is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
