This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
