You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i wish my penis had a tongue
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
