i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
