he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
