nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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