It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
