she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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