my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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