every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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