Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
