she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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