Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
