Whod you bang
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
