Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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