put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
