she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think your dad took our porno
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize