would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
