tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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