This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
