He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Randomize
