just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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