You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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