You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
