Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
