no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
