its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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