Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
