covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
