they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
