i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
