dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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