If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize