Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
