dude i'm inner monologue high
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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