Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Randomize
