Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
