I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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