i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
