We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
