I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
